Always
by Bri Yami-neko
Summary: He’d do anything to see that look on her face.... Oneshot. I purposely left out the girl’s name, because it’s more fun that way. So, basically, it can be anyone you want with Spike, except for Buffy, since she’s mentioned. If you read closely, though, you


Title: Always

Pairing: Spike and ?

Summary: _He'd do anything to see that look on her face. _One-shot. I purposely left out the girl's name, because it's more fun that way. So, basically, it can be anyone you want, except for Buffy, since she's mentioned. If you read closely, though, you can probably figure out who it was originally intended to be.

* * *

He'd do anything to see that look on her face. When she smiled so wide that her eyes creased around the edges, and her teeth gleamed white from a grin that was only heightened by the dimples she was so self conscious of. He'd point them out to her and she would blush darkly, casting her eyes downward while grinning even wider. Her eyes would shine with an utter happiness that only came from the pure innocence that was always in them. That same delighted sweetness was in every thing she did, from the way she spoke to him and her friends to her tender kisses and how she would hold him for no other reason than to just touch him. 

Once, just after she had presented him with a random gift just to watch as he opened it, eyes lighting up in glee at his reaction and perhaps being more excited than he was, Spike had asked her why she was the way she was. How, after everything they'd been through, after everything that had happened to her, she could still be so innocent. It had taken her a moment to figure out what he meant. She didn't see herself as innocent and she had been a bit offended that he thought she was so naïve. He had hurriedly reassured her that he didn't think she was naïve, just that she had a very cheerful outlook for someone as jaded as she was.

That had provoked a laugh from her, and she had explained that just because she knew how much the world sucked didn't mean she couldn't appreciate everything she had in life. She had told him that she would always believe that the world could get better, because if she didn't, then what else was there? Besides, she had great friends, a wonderful family, the world's best boyfriend….

There hadn't been much talk after that. Spike smiled at the memory, them rolling on top of the satin sheets he had given to her until she was so exhausted she could barely move. And she hadn't been the only one. Not as much for him, but it amazed him how she could tire him out, that little scrap of a girl who had none of the strength or stamina of his other lovers. But she managed all the same, and afterwards he would pull the down comforter over the two of them. She'd curl up next to him and lay her head on his chest, letting him run his fingers through her long hair.

Her hand would somehow end up on his chest, over the place where his un-beating heart rested. She would flutter it, miming a heartbeat as her hand thumped softly against his cool skin. The first time she rested her head on his chest to sleep, he asked her if the absence of a heartbeat disturbed her. She had replied that she liked it, since sometimes the thumping noise had kept her from sleeping like this with previous boyfriends. He had loudly proclaimed his jealousy of anyone who had shared her bed, which made her dissolve into giggles.

Spike knew she was aware that he didn't really mean it. He was protective of her, and didn't like the thought of someone else being with her, but the two of them had long ago made peace with each other's pasts. She was the one who had the most to get over, as she knew that a part of him would always love Buffy. Astonishingly, she had accepted it, and even encouraged him to not try to forget the Slayer. Buffy was a part of his past, a part of what made Spike who he was. And since she loved everything he was, she supposed she should be thanking Buffy.

It was such things that made him wonder what he had done that made the Powers That Be like him so much. Because there was no other way he could get a girl as wonderful as she was. Someone so completely in love with him it scared him, and it scared him how much he loved her.

One time she had told him that she was afraid to sleep without him. It was after they had moved in together and they had been sharing the same bed for several weeks. She said she was scared that if she went to bed alone, and woke up without him being there, it wouldn't be real, none of this would have really happened and it would turn out to be all a dream. That she would find out that she wasn't really his, and he had never been hers. He had told her that she had nothing to be afraid of, because what they had would never stop. But all the same, they should probably not test it and just sleep together every night.

Spike remembered that conversation the first night he had to sleep without her. It was one of the hundreds of memories that sprang to his mind as he lay in their bed, staring at the ceiling. He remembered the time they had been walking back from dinner to their apartment and it had started pouring. She convinced him to dance in the street, the pounding rain completely ruining his suit and her pretty dress. He remembered how she refused to let him go into battle without being at his side, as if somehow her presence would prevent him from being hurt. He remembered how sweet she was, how much she cared about all the people in her life. How strong she was, and how willing to sacrifice anything for the people she loved.

Most of all, though, he remembered that fear she had spoken to him. Before Spike had finally fallen asleep on that desperately lonely night, he had wished so hard that those words were true. That because she wasn't there beside him, her warmth carrying him through the night, when he woke up in the morning he would no longer love her. He would no longer hide in their apartment, crying where no one could see him. He hoped so strongly that what she had feared would be reality because he didn't think he could take hurting like this anymore.

But when he woke up the next morning to the sun streaming through the specially tempered glass that she had installed when he moved in with her, so he could see the sun as they lay together, he knew it wasn't true. He knew he was still in love with her, and the promise he had made, that it would never stop, was the only truth in that conversation. Because it wouldn't. It would never stop. Even with her spirit gone and her body colder and less functioning than his, the love they had was still there. And though she was no longer here for Spike to hold, he was still hers.

He would always be hers.


End file.
